29.

I was 29 when i looked back at my life in the last couple years and everything started to make sense

I was 29 when God almost gave me my miracle

And i could fit the pieces of my life like a puzzle 

When i lived through waking dreams and moments so perfect, my heart was full.

I was 29 when i sat in the lawn on a jumah

The sun seemed brighter and the leaves greener

The breeze cooler and a wave of contentment rushing thru me

When i realised

This is what a believer waits for

For the days of sabr to change into days of shukr. This is what strengthens our imaan. 

For us to believe that there is a beautiful ending.

I was 29 when the magic disappeared as quickly as it came

And i stared in disbelief because miracles were meant to last

When i told everyone to wait, that it would come back

Because God doesnt play tricks with His believers

I was 29 when their questions got louder than my answers

And i couldnt reassure them because i needed it more than them

As i held in my hands, every little thing, for the day of my dreams, 

How could i regret it when they were the proof of my good opinion of my Lord

How could i regret getting ready for the acceptance of my dua?

I was 29 when I learnt to cry in my mothers arms

Snuggled up to her like a baby

Placing my broken heart in her aging arms

I thought it would be my head bowed down in gratitude for a long time

Before i needed to ask again

But I was 29 when in desperate hope, i raised my hands again