4

Just Be.

This year, I’d like to remind myself to Just Be,
No matter the situation  I am in,
Or the people I am with,
When the time needs, I shall Just Be
Unabashedly myself, Just Be.
When the times get tough,
And the circumstances tougher,
I won’t put a mask of the toughest
But let the tides take me down for a while,
Rest there, take my time and Just Be.
When the whirlwind of emotions takes over me
I shall embrace them all, befriend them
accept them as a part of me and Just Be.
This year, I will fight one breath at a time,
I will grow, one step at a time,
and live life, one day at a time.
And I will remind myself each moment
Not to lose but hold and help myself
and Just Be, as raw as I can be, I shall Just Be.

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This is too late for “New Year Resolutions” and I am not really a resolution kind of person but this time I have few small milestones to cross, I shall try my best to hop over them gracefully, God willingly. 🙂

P.S: I know this is too raw but hey I just told myself I will be raw 😉

13

Nu yeer, nu post, hu dis?

Well well hello {from the other side (it’s okay  there’s no need to roll your eyes..joke hai relax!)} everyone! If you were thinking we forgot you and our blog, then we didn’t. We didn’t. I promise you WE DIDN’T!
I know we keep getting MIA but that’s just our life. We don’t do it intentionally. I don’t even have an excuse this time, because I know and realize I (we) should  be blogging  more often but that just doesn’t happen. I try hard. I keep racking my head for ideas and keep mentally writing posts but when the time comes to execute those ideas, type them out on lappy, my brain tells me ” Nu brain, who dis?” Ab aap hi bataein karein toh kya karein?

So much has happened since the last post, so be prepared for a long long long post.

*offers you a virtual cup of coffee*

First things first, got done with the worst semester of my life. I don’t even know how I appeared for those exams, it took some supernatural force to write them. Blegh. But Alhamdulilah it’s done and now it’s been 17 days that I’m back in my Haven, Riyadh, enjoying the bone rattling winters.
My past few winters were in Hyderabad, where the last temperature drop is usually about 15 degrees celsius, so I was really looking forward to this trip of mine and mahn was my dua to experience winter was fulfilled. Alhamdulilah. It’s comparatively warm this weekend at 13-15 degrees. Okay I need to stop before I sound like “Namaskaar mausam ka tazaa haal lekar main hoon aapke saath Miss Maqsood….”

During my flight to Riyadh, I realized why I don’t like traveling alone because I don’t have my HUMAN PILLOW(s) with me then. No I don’t sleep most of the time on flight but to be comfortable I need one. Also when you travel alone you are obviously seated next to strangers, hello anxiety! It sure does make you feel like a strong independent lady but I’d prefer not to be next to strangers. Nope. Sorry. *shakes head*  *gloriously crawls back into her cocoon*
So I’m in Riyadh, enjoying winters, loving being the centre of attention of my parents (huaha!) and hanging out with my crazies (kinda reliving my school days). Alhamdulilah.

This made me realize two things. Firstly, this is the first time I’m alone with my parents, none of my brothers are here. So I  am getting their undivided attention and whenever they want anything, I’m expected to do it and I cannot be lazy and pass it on to my younger brother like I always do. (There’s one Hyderabadi saying for this situation that is something like ” Kuttey ku boley toh kutta uski dumm ku bola”. Self explanatory. )
And whenever I do something without being asked to, it fills them with joy and the Dua’s that follow are priceless. It’s not that they are incapable of doing stuff by themselves but they have reached that age, when they are supposed to be looked and cared after. They have done enough. And we have grown old enough to do our chores and house chores, so let’s not be lazy pseudo-teens.
Khair, let’s not get into sentimental stuff. Second thing I realized in the past few days is no matter where you go, what you do, there will always be that close knit of people who will have your back, your family and friends. Kuch bhi hojao they will be there. Through the ups and the downs, highs and lows. And if you have those people around you be thankful to the Lord coz it is a Niyamah (blessing), believe me it is. I cannot emphasize enough on how their presence can make your life easy and smooth. Even if they cannot help you out, they will stick by you. They will listen to you, they will let you cry. But they will be there. Beside you. Behind you. Also please be careful before including someone in that circle. Coz not everyone you meet are going to stay.
Kuch heavy hogaya nahi? Moving on.

December 27th was Mirza Asadullah Khan Ghalib’s birth anniversary. That day, my parents and I started watching Mirza Ghalib the serial (was aired on DD national in 1988), starring Naseeruddin Shah as Ghalib. We watched first five episodes in a go before we realized it was 12 am. Then we decided to resume on weekend. But that weekend never came.
So I decided to take matters in my hand  and watch it all alone by myself coz my parents were busy adulting. I have finished 11 of 16 episodes. And boy am I loving it! I was always fascinated by Ghalib because of his wit, he made me laugh in awe.
This serial cleared some serious misconceptions that I had regarding him. Anyone who’s interested to know more about him, should really watch it, it’s on Youtube. I’m not sure if everything that’s portrayed in that drama is to the T but most of it is from his letters, Khutoot-e-Ghalib. 🙂

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Now that we are talking about Ghalib, there’s this post by Sulphurman that you should really reallly read if you are Ghalib-crazy.

*Are you still there? If yes, Thank you. Offers you another cup of coffee*

Guys! 2015 is over! Last year went in a jiffy, I was telling one of my friends it went by like how our 11th grade did, our life was in induced semi comatose phase. Stagnant yet moving at light’s speed. Only the year end result shook us up. And in the same way, as smooth n bland the starting three quarters of 2015 were the last quarter was quite turbulent. Nothing serious Alhamdulilah but you understand right? 🙂
Life had it’s fair share of everything but 2015 didn’t really  have anything in particular that I would love to look back at.
Tread on some paths I thought I would never walk on. Missed some opportunities coz I was being lazy. Bairhaal!

Let’s hope and pray (ijtemai duaa anyone?) this year, we grow to be someone we’d like to be.
Let’s give and not hold back but please hold back your over, microscopic criticism to yourselves. If you disapprove of something, or disagree over something, state your point and back off. Do NOT force your opinions.
**Also don’t be a cynic please. I can handle your over the rainbow optimism, your deep dark pessimism also I accept you with your lens of realism, but cynicism, no chance. I don’t really have a place for them n their sh*t in my life. No thank you! If you cannot say anything good, kindly shut up, Yes disagree but don’t be a cynic.Please. **
Sorry was carried away, back to the ijtemai duaa.
Let’s chase our dreams. 
Let’s rekindle our faith in ourselves and our capabilities.
Let’s read read and read more, and write write and write some more.
Let’s fill our hearts with love till it’s filled to the brim.
Let’s laugh till our stomachs ache and cry till our hearts heal.
Let’s live each day, make the day count and not forget to be thankful for every new day. Insha’Allah!
I’d like to end the post, like my friend would have,
“Aaj ,aaj ek hasi aur baant lo, aaj ek dua aur maang lo, aaj ek ansoon aur pee lo, aaj ek zindagi aur jee lo, aaj ek sapna aur dekh lo, aaj … kya pata, kal ho naa ho”
*Srk’s signature pose* 😛
Hope you liked my randomness and coffee. 🙂

P.S : I know two of you had tagged me in posts and I’d kinda promised you guys I would do it but I didn’t. I apologize 😦

17

Parents

“And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], “uff,” and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, ‘My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.’

For the past two months, we’ve been hearing heartbreaking news regarding Dads of our friends and school mates.
This made us realize that our parents ARE growing old.

In our pursuit of life,career, love we never realized that, coz they have always given us that rock hard support. We never stopped to look at their faces, from wrinkle free handsome faces, we never knew when they started developing those lines.

From “My Daddy strongest” we never realized slowly by slowly they were losing that “strong streak” because no matter what they have always been “THE STRONGEST” even if they weren’t, they really knew how to fool us.
We never saw or gave importance to the greying coz that made them more graceful and beautiful.
As we turned from Preteens to teenagers to adults, we were so immersed and involved in our own problems (Sadly, we considered them as one at some point or the other, may God forgive us for that) that We never considered to think or question“Why do their legs/feet ache so frequently?” or “Why cant my mum fall asleep without getting her feet massaged?”
We never made a big deal when they fell ill coz c’mon they are the strongest, they will get well soon.
Whenever they got easily agitated we never considered thinking beyond “oh my God they always have a problem with whatever I do”.

And now all I can think is THEY ARE GETTING OLDER DAY BY DAY! They are not super strong as they have always been, they need us more than before.
Now I somewhat understand what Allah’s saying in the above mentioned verse. We need to be more caring and loving towards them as they have become weak. They have seen more than enough of the lights and the darks. The ups and the downs. The whites and the blacks, they have witnessed all. The smiles and the tears. Even if they don’t show their weakness, they are getting weaker with each passing day, mentally and physically. They have reached the vulnerable phase. Don’t let them fool you that they’re strong coz they are NOT, mahn they are not. They NEED US to be strong for them, to give them support and strength. It’s our God given duty.

They have rights over us more than anyone else, not your friends,not your work, not your society but THEM. Take care of them first. Fulfill their rights first.
Sadly we are the ‘ tit for tat’ generation, we hold onto it tightly even with our parents, even if we don’t necessarily act upon it, at one point or the other we have had this complain with them ‘You didn’t do this and that for me’, sadly we do. So naturally we fall short in being dutiful to them we may try but we don’t give our 100 % but what Allah is asking is to be dutiful to them, no matter how many rough patches you have had with them, when Allah orders, that’s it. No matter what equation you have with them, they DESERVE your care and love, because when you couldn’t walk they held you.

While growing up we might have had arguments and differences but when we skipped our dinner, their plates were left untouched too. When we were hurt they cried as well. They nurtured us from tiny little helpless dependent beings to independent strong adults. They nurtured us. We don’t remember any of these because “mahn one time I asked for blah blah and they refused” what we forget here is whatever we got from them was always the BEST that they had. THE BEST.

My father always tells me “No matter what you do, you can never ever compensate for the pain that your mother had undergone to bring you in this world, and she forgot everything when she saw you but when you answer her back, always remember, the pain that you cause is much more greater than that pain”.

Speak to them in softest tone possible, no matter what they say.
Quoting Nouman Ali Khan “We can’t even show our parents that we are frustrated, whether they are yelling at us, whether they are saying things that are fair or not fair, whether they are insulting you, it doesn’t matter what they are doing, that’s not the point. 1) You’re not showing them respect because of them; you are showing them respect because it’s a command of Allah. 2) You are showing them respect because no matter how much harm they do to you psychologically or physically even, no matter how much harm they do to you, they can never outdo the good they did for you. The good your mother did for you can never be outweighed by anything she says to you or does to you.”

May Allah makes us of those daughters and sons. May Allah forgive us for every time we answered them back and hurt them. May Allah forgive us for everything.
May Allah bless our Parents with the best of both the worlds, with long life filled with imaan, happiness and health. May Allah bless the parents who are no longer in this world with the Highest and luxurious abodes of Jannat ul Firdous. May Allah heal the sick Parents, grant them shifa, and to their families immense sabr and comfort. And ‘My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.’

At last please please please make Dua for two dear friends’ dads, they passed away last month. No matter where you are, no matter who you are, you know us or not, if you are reading this we urge to pray for them.
Take care of yourself and your parents.

P.S: You might find few snippets of Ustad Nouman Ali Khan’s lecture(Being best to your parents) in this post, thats coz while writing this that lecture was playing in my head as I have almost rattafied it. Khair, just wanted to clear that.

15

DD: Daily Dhukdey II- Of Facebook and “Life”

*crawls out of the MIA hole-looks around-Oh you guys still there?!!*
*PHEW*
Thank God for loyal blogosphere fellows! Back with a post and a rant so brace yourselves, might as well get popcorn 😉

Facebook has taken everything from our life and threw it out of the window more like packed everything carefully and fedex-ed it to another world.
No seriously, facebook is such a vicious trap you open it and from page to page, person to person, liking, commenting aaand stalking, goes your study schedule and time management ke waadey. (Don’t give me that look we all have done our share of stalking.)
Before signing in, I promise myself to just check the updates and sign off within minutes. Oh yes I do sign out within minutes bus farkh yeh hai minutes vary from 30-120 minutes, depending on the importance of the work that has to be done, the more important the work is the more interesting fb gets. Satan’s trap, I tell you.

If facebook wasn’t enough already there’s twitter and instagram. (Kill me now!)

I think its time to detox my life, planning to stay away from facebook for a while. One of my friend was promising me “get away from fb and then you’ll be able to do anything and everything, phir aisa dikhta dunya jahan ka time hai tumhare paas”.
More than consuming our lives, I think Facebook has transformed most of us into self centered human beings. No offense to any one but that’s the bitter truth.

Before you photographed because memories now people pose with their friends because they haven’t updated their profile for a while now. (Again, not all but most of them)

Pehle, when you hung out with friends you TALKED, you vented, dil ki bhadass nikalte, now you pose, pout and add check-ins on fb. Okay mahn, we get it you have “fun” with your friends how about real fun now?
No harm in clicking for few minutes lekin doing that or using fb when you’re with your loved ones to spend some quality time. Not cool che, so not cool.

Pre-fb times if you had a problem, you’d talk to your friends and family and now you make sure to make an elaan on fb for your entire friend list to know. And worst, if some poor insaan out of sympathy asks what is wrong, they get the standard reply “I cant say or it doesn’t matter”. Hell!! Toh why did you post about it then. Attention seeker, much?

Then we have “Love you mum/dad” walay log as well. And unke mum dad, itelaan arz hai, are not on fb. Bibi pyaar jatana hai toh go and tell them face to face and not to the world.

Love you se yaad the FDA (Facebook display of affection), you guys prolly have each others contact numbers, skype ids and what not, kindly proceed there with your affection. Utni zehmat nahi hoti toh Mark bhai ne inbox bhi diya hai fb par. Please refrain from grossing out the general fb users.

And what do I say about creepers and stalkers? Fb with its updates is getting stalker friendly. Innocent harmless stalking is healthy once in a while lekin creeping someone out is NOT acceptable at all. Now who is supposed to explain this to desperate fraands out there. Yaar, what do they think matlab aisa karey toh opposite person is gonna react positively to it?! Grow up guys!

And the deterioration of languages by fb users. Na apni zabaan dhang ki aur na english dhang ki. Theek hai your/you’re theek hai. BUT yew, KeWL, GuRl, PRinXess not cool, not cool at all. I remember when fb and messaging were new and everyone in our class were getting the hang of fb and smses, so many, soo many of our classmates were called out for using internet/sms slang in notebooks and exams. Hahah!! We used to watch them mazaay se. Only if everytime they made mistakes on fb, a hand, belonging to their teacher, comes out of the screen and pulls their ear like the Good Ol’ Days. Cruel much? I dont care. YOU ARE KILLING THE LANGUAGE SLOWLY BY SLOWLY. So yes you highly deserve that. Highly.

I can go on and go for hours on this topic. But lets stop here and pray for the betterment of fb-qaum.

Hoping for a fb-free life, will try the detoxication method. Lets get productive thennn and transform our dead withered blog back to life inshaAllah inshaAllah!

How are youu alll doing? Hope everything is fine inshaAllah.

6

Lost treasure

I was going through my old stuff  from school ,or “Kachra” as everyone else calls it. And I found one of my favourite items of my “Treasure box”,  which helped me in transforming moments into memories and those memories shall be preserved for the rest of my life, Insha’Allah.  And so this item too shall  be treasured for the rest of my life as well.
I was afraid I had lost it, so when I saw it lying in the corner of my box, I was filled with joy and relief.

My first camera ever, Sony Cybershot S600. I remember the days I spent dreaming about digicam, I remember discussing with my brother and telling him how badly I wanted it. I remember pestering dad to get me one. And I remember the day when I finally got it. It was in  the last week of  June 2006 (Yup eight years ago), those days digital cameras were the “trend”.

old cam

Back then I didn’t even know much about the cameras (Not that I really know much now), all I NEEDED was a camera to capture the memories. That doesnt mean it wasnt good, it had pretty good features, was easy to handle and it did take pretty clear pictures. Clarity was one of the things that I loved about it.

One of the two cons of this camera was, it was quite heavy and the other con being, it had rechargeable AA batteries. Firstly, it was hard to find them  and secondly, charger wasn’t available anywhere, when I’d bought the camera. So for the first few months I relied on non-rechargeable batteries and recharged the original batteries that came with the camera by giving them some rest.But I loved it.

I used it for nearly three  years. It was even confiscated in school once. 😛 It was hard to sneak  in that camera, hence found itself in Principal’s room for a week, I guess 😛

I had to replace it, when it started losing its sight and was crippled ( the lens would get stuck every now and then) . I was going to throw it away lekin dil nahi badha aagey, after all it was my first camera ever. How can I throw it away?! I am glad I didn’t, in the future I’m sure its gonna make it to the “antique” list. 😉

Then came my second camera, Sony Cybershot T700, bought  on 11th May 2009. I LOVED this one. It had such cool features. This one had a 3.5 LCD touch screen.  It also gave you the  choice of choosing different photographing scenes/modes. Loved experimenting with those scenes. And pictures were crystal clear. It  had a smile shutter as well,( was the latest feature, I guess ).

new cam
Its slim and sleek body made it easy to sneak it in my shoes ( Ihave done that soo many times) but I had to walk awkwardly in the school.

This camera’s in a good condition, just that I havent used it in ages. Thanks to smartphones.

Better than all of these fancy shancy cameras I prefer, Reel wale cameras. They are the best. They help you in preserving your memories lifelong, literally, unless and until kuch hojaye n photos jaljaye ya some photo-chor steals it form your collection (Ammi tells me about how they used to stealthily take out their favorite photos from their cousins album and vice versa). Haha! Good Old days. Those cameras didn’t have the delete option, thus captured memories as they were. No editing, preserving emotions in their purest forms.

Haaye! Really pre-technology days were good. Life was simple yet enthralling. Nahi? what do you think? Are you Pro or Anti-Technology?
Thats about it people. Hope you enjoyed reading my random bakwaas. Stay tuned for more bakwaas. 😀

P.S: My T700 is beemar thoda sa, does anyone have an idea, how to revive it back to life? Thank You 🙂