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My unfinished letter to Ghalib 

Aapke baad Ab humein koi khat nahi likhta, Ghalib… Garma ka mausam aata hai aur chilchilati dopharein bina koi aam ki farmaish laaye guzar jaati hain. Ab aam bhi us tarah ke kahan, waqt ke saath har cheez badalti gayi aur har cheez mein aam bhi shumar hogaya. Is saal toh, february ke mahine mein hi nazar aaney lagay the loug sadakoun par aam liye, lekin kya faida? Woh aam toh carbide se pakaye gaye the aur unmein toh woh meetha zaiqa hi nahi, aap khaatey toh bahot udaas hotey, main bhi hui thi. Bahot rona aur ghussa aaya insaan ki jaldbaazi par,yeh haal hai ab yahan ke ache aam mayasar hona bahot mushkil hai. Insaan ki jaldbaazi aur scientific advancements ne toh zindagi se lutf cheenliya hai, choti choti cheezein ab kisi ko khush nahi karti. Khair, insaan ki is fitrat par tafseeli tabserah aapse agle khat mein karoungi.

Sochiye, aap bazaar se meethi meethi khusboo walay aam ghar lekar aaye aur jab kaatkar khaanay lagey toh woh safaid aur pheekey se nikley? Aapko ghussa nahi aayega? Mujhe bhi aaya, shadeed ghussa aaya.

Aapki tarah, mujhe bhi aam bahot pasand hain, aur kaash mere bhi aise dost o ahbaab hotey jo meri farmaishein poori kartey. Ab toh farmaishein bhi mehengi lagti hain. Zaiqedaar Baganpalli ya Baada​​mi aam ab kam az kam dedh sau rupaye kilo se miltey hain. 

Garmi toh hadd se zyada badhgayi hai, aur aise mausam mein bus aam ki deed hi kaafi hai dil (aur dimagh) ko thanda karne ke liye. 
Ab toh, aam se kayi meethey aur mithaiyaan banai jaati hain, par jab main aam ko kisi aur cheez mein milaya dekhti hoon bahot takleef hoti, jab triffle,pudding ya cakes mein log aam ka istemal kartey hain toh uska zaiqa bahot minimal hota hai. Mujhe aisa mehsoos hota hai jaise main aam se bewafai karrahi hoon, isiliye main ghar pe aisa kuch banane hi nahi deti. Aam ko toh bus aam ki tarah hi khaana chahiye. Kuch log toh aise bhi hotey hain, jo aamras mein doodh milatey hain, bhala iski kya zaroorat hai. Kesari, sanderi jaise raseeley aam ka sirf ras hi kaafi hai, ismein doodh milaney ki kya tukk banti hai! Samjh nahi aati inlogou ki mantakh. 
Mantakh se yaad aaya un makhlooq ka jo aam khaatey hi nahi, aur aam ke naam par hi ajeeeb si shakal banaletey hain. Aise logoun ke liye main aksar aapka, “Gadhey hi aam nahi khaatey” wala khissa dhorati hoon.

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Superficial delusional world of Indian Ads

These days, I spend most of my day indoors thanks to HADD SE ZYADA garmi.  So my masroofiyath these days include watching IPL (WHAT AM I GOING TO DO AFTER 24th MAY?!?!!) and reading.
Khair Tv se yaad aaya what is wrong with the Indian advertisements? Where is the talent? Why so shitty ads? Why oh Why?!! (Get the reference anyone? 😉 Hint: V and Shradhha Kapoor )
Fair & Lovely Ads– Thank you people for the self esteem booster. *wipes away happy tears* What we, saanwli dusky girls, would do without you guys? We’d be probably crying in some corner of the world cz  gorapan is sab kuch. In my jiggar’s words “ If you ain’t gori, you ain’t going anywhere”.
This cream transforms  dusky ladies from akhal se paidal to the most talented, noticed/loved and wanted aurat in the country? Hmmkay. This cream gives you the guts to talk to your dad about future plans. He wants you to get married but you don’t and you have no himmat of refusing, so  the F&L woman gives you a piece of mind, one application and you get himmat. Wow such instant results, cream na hua badhazmi ki dawa hogayi

So you’re trying to say ke external use nikharofies your brain? WOW such logic. Much trash. Thanks but no thanks F&L.

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PC: Buzzfeed

If ladies weren’t enough there’s also“Fair & Handsome” to lure men. What even.  What about “Tall DARK and handsome” ?

Oh a side note query, the “dark”  mentioned above is it in literal or figurative sense?

IIN– *Bangs head against the wall* No words to mention the absurdity, stupidity and the illogical nature of these ads. This the perfect example of “Kuch bhi, matlab kuch bhi?”

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Matlab bus idea ka internet data package lelo and tadaaa you become lawyer, doctor, chef and engineer. Thank you Idea for illogically setting a bait for our already padhai ke dushman generation. Also, some guy is studying biology and economics because “My Choice” and apparently why should we study what everyone asks us to and why not what interests us. This takes “karo apne dil ki” to another level. He’s probably interested in trading business of organs.

Aur itelaan arz hai, khaali package leliye toh knowledge milgayi what about Google and Wikipedia. Smh. Credits, people, are supposed to be given where due betey. Basic ettiqutes.

Kajaria Tiles– People, people, FYI, no matter how pretty and lovely ghar ke tiles are no one, NO ONE, rolls on the floor in appreciation. Forget about bathroom ke tiles *EWWW* Thank you so much, we might go “Jo dekhe wo deewana” but there’s something called hygiene.

dutty face

Mountain Dew– “Darr ke aage jeet hai” was a winning concept lekin ab na too much hora dekho. Ab toh it’s nothing more than bekaar ki dedh hoshiyaari. There’s a deadly sand tornado coming but you take a sip and go in coz “Darr ke aage jeet hai”, I’m so impelled to use one hyderabadi word but tameez. *zip locks*.Khair, That is not danishmandana step people that is haulapana.

Pan Masala –These are so sad and bad that they’re hilarious. Thoda pan masala in your alimentary canal and booom you become the mehfil ki jaan, the hero, every woman’s man.That is not called being confident, I have a better ten lettered word to explain them “DELUSIONAL”. Yes, that’s the word.

Glamour Bike– When you think ads can’t get worse, they will get worst, there’s no coming back. Nope. This is a new one, saw this parsun only. So some guy  comes in riding a bike and every woman  in the vicinty goes mad after him. A bride ready to take her vows leaves her husband coz “Ek jhatkey mein status mera single hogaya”. Yes that’s the jingle. Matlab bike rahe toh fida? Aise ads banaou and then cry women are getting materialistic day by day. Hey wakey wakey YOU ARE MAKING THEM MATERIALISTIC!

Santoor– Only one thing I’d like to say get a new concept please. “Mummyyyyy” wala is sooo old that I won’t be surprised  if one of the kids from their old ads is the new Mummy.

Dairy Milk Silk– Yes chocolates are LOVE but no one eats like that in public yaaaro. Wo bhi India ki Traffic jam mein, like really? Have you ever been stuck in those shaitaan ki aanth(never ending) like jams?  It’s a miracle to get out of those jams with normal blood pressure. Reality people reality please.

Gaana.com– This should come with a warning: Jingle of the following ad could result in fatal injuries or worse can instigate murder. No kidding. Suno aur khud jaanjao.

And don’t even get me started on teleshopping walay ads, no matter what the problem is it always starts with “Mein pehle bahot pareshaan tha, dukhi tha phir meri zindagi mein falaan falaan agaya aur ab main bahot khush hoon, har waqt hansta rehta hoon aur ladkiyaan bhi mujhse baat karti hain aur kuch hi dinoun mein meri shaadi horahi hai” I’m not exaggerating yeh walay ads always revolve around these lines only. These lines were in some ad.

*Heavy Sigh*

On a more happier and merrier note, Khanum of the Oh-So-Awesome Khanumsays nominated us for an award. Haaye! *happy sigh*
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Thank You sooooo much for appreciation, award and love *wipes away khushi ke aansu* ! We don’t know how awards work so we are going to kaam chalao with thank you, Khanumsays. 😀 *Pappis and Jhappis your way*

That’s all I have got for now. Miltey hain ek *choteyyy* se break baad *Ting ting tiding*

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CC: City Charm-Numaish

It’s that time of the year again, when the routine is pre-planned, intehai ghair ma’amuly baat, calendars are checked religiously, off days are marked with red markers,calls are made,decisions done,plans pokhta-fied, rides arranged, budget’s modified with “teeny-meeny” changes. Men folk forced to stay at home, ghair-ma’amuly again, as women shall grace the Nampally ground with their presence.
Ab tak toh samjh gaye hunge na? Yes it’s NUMAISH time.

You can hear the continuous honking by besabrey autowalay and too enthusiastic traffic police officer’s blaring instructions through the speakers from Far far away. Ab utti bhi door nakko jao .:P Roads are jam Packed but don’t lose your patience.
Last time I did a write up. So this year I thought of an idea and consulted dear friend of mine, Falak, about doing it differently this time. And we decided to give you guys
*Drumrolls*

A VIRTUAL TOUR!!

So Everyone who’s never been to Numaish, my fellow bloggers from different parts of the desh and bloggers from padosi mulk, who want to know why do Hyderabadis go gaga over the Numaish and what its actually about, come walk with us. And our dear NRHs ladies(Non-Resident Hyderabadis- ladies because I doubt men loved going here) how can we forget you,Aisa kaisaa hosaktaa? Matlab Kaisaaaaa??
We dedicate this post to you ladies.
Walk through the wonderland with us and book your tickets for Hyderabad in January next year, kaiku bole toh zamanaaaaa hogaya numaish/exhibition (whichever way you roll) jaake!

Chalo baataan bhot hogaye, let’s go.

I had better entrance  pictures but Falak loves this one...

I had better entrance pictures but Falak loves this one…

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Chidandi outside the gate.

Chidandi outside the gate.

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One of the many mini "cosmetic" stalls

One of the many mini “cosmetic” stalls

Lucknowi/Chikan suits

Lucknowi/Chikan suits

Lucknowi/Chikan suits

Lucknowi/Chikan suits

Naamou pe ghaur karriye; Dabang, Masakali and Khan suit

Naamou pe ghaur karriye; Dabang, Masakali and Khan suit

Numaishhh Ka Chamannnn! The meeting point or landmark, kaiku bole toh kahan hai tum nahi milrey  "Arey chaman ke yeh taraf aao humlogaan yahanich hai"

Numaishhh Ka Chamannnn! The meeting point or landmark, kaiku bole toh kahan hai tum nahi milrey “Arey chaman ke yeh taraf aao humlogaan yahanich hai”

Chaman ke wo taraf hai ..Rajasthani suits

Chaman ke wo taraf hai ..Rajasthani suits

Joootiyaaaannn!

Joootiyaaaannn!

Colors of Kashmir!

Colors of Kashmir!

Kashmiri Jewelley stall

Kashmiri Jewellery stall

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Jhumkey, Jhumkey and some more Jhumkey!

Jhumkey, Jhumkey and some more Jhumkey!

Dry fruits from Kashmir.

Dry fruits from Kashmir.

The many flavors of Churann.

The many flavors of Churann.

Buddhi ke baaaaal

Buddhi ke baaaaal

Buddhi ke baal!

Buddhi ke baal!

Bade Miyaann Kababsss!!

Bade Miyaann Kababsss!!

Garmaa Garamm Chaaaat!

Garmaa Garamm Chaaaat!

Something that we wouldn't recommend -.-

Something that we wouldn’t recommend -.-

Giant Wheel!!

Giant Wheel!!

Maut Ka kuan aka well of death.

Maut Ka kuan aka well of death.

Colombusssss

Colombusssss

And the 360 degree ride :D

And the 360 degree ride 😀

He gives you live commentary of death of well.

He gives you live commentary of death of well.


We have more rides but pictures didn’t turn out clear.

Bwoys come to Numaish either coz their women folk ordered them "Saaman rehta chalo saath mein. humlogou se uthana nahi hota" or coz unku apni taaqat aazmana rehta at these Punch ball stations.

Bwoys come to Numaish either coz their women folk ordered them “Saaman rehta chalo saath mein. humlogou se uthana nahi hota” or coz unku apni taaqat aazmana rehta at these Punch ball stations.

This is our Numaish. Kaisa dikhaa?
Hope you guys enjoyed the virtual tour. Hyderabadiyaan kitte baar gaye and nahi gaye toh kaiku nai gaye?Tell us about your favorite Numaish stuff/stall 🙂
Note: We just covered what according to us makes Numaish the “Highlight”, it has more than 2500 stalls that makes this fest one of its kind in the world.
Lastly, my fellow NRIs, who are going to visit for the first time, listen to me carefully,*Dumbledore style* If you fear the crowd or are allergic to “Indian cheezan” or are too elite to go there, dust that NRI keeda before leaving the house. When in Rome do it… Kya? Did I just say that?! :O Sorry, my bad, jab Hyderabad mein hai toh hyderabadi bano, angrez/arab bannke gaye toh kuch bhi maza nai aata. Leave the it’s ” too dirty keeda” and “its too crowded” waale nakhrey outside to fully enjoy yourself. And trust me, once you come out of the numaish you cannot wait to go in there again. Mark my words. Speaking by experience 🙂
Take care. 🙂