0

My unfinished letter to Ghalib 

Aapke baad Ab humein koi khat nahi likhta, Ghalib… Garma ka mausam aata hai aur chilchilati dopharein bina koi aam ki farmaish laaye guzar jaati hain. Ab aam bhi us tarah ke kahan, waqt ke saath har cheez badalti gayi aur har cheez mein aam bhi shumar hogaya. Is saal toh, february ke mahine mein hi nazar aaney lagay the loug sadakoun par aam liye, lekin kya faida? Woh aam toh carbide se pakaye gaye the aur unmein toh woh meetha zaiqa hi nahi, aap khaatey toh bahot udaas hotey, main bhi hui thi. Bahot rona aur ghussa aaya insaan ki jaldbaazi par,yeh haal hai ab yahan ke ache aam mayasar hona bahot mushkil hai. Insaan ki jaldbaazi aur scientific advancements ne toh zindagi se lutf cheenliya hai, choti choti cheezein ab kisi ko khush nahi karti. Khair, insaan ki is fitrat par tafseeli tabserah aapse agle khat mein karoungi.

Sochiye, aap bazaar se meethi meethi khusboo walay aam ghar lekar aaye aur jab kaatkar khaanay lagey toh woh safaid aur pheekey se nikley? Aapko ghussa nahi aayega? Mujhe bhi aaya, shadeed ghussa aaya.

Aapki tarah, mujhe bhi aam bahot pasand hain, aur kaash mere bhi aise dost o ahbaab hotey jo meri farmaishein poori kartey. Ab toh farmaishein bhi mehengi lagti hain. Zaiqedaar Baganpalli ya Baada​​mi aam ab kam az kam dedh sau rupaye kilo se miltey hain. 

Garmi toh hadd se zyada badhgayi hai, aur aise mausam mein bus aam ki deed hi kaafi hai dil (aur dimagh) ko thanda karne ke liye. 
Ab toh, aam se kayi meethey aur mithaiyaan banai jaati hain, par jab main aam ko kisi aur cheez mein milaya dekhti hoon bahot takleef hoti, jab triffle,pudding ya cakes mein log aam ka istemal kartey hain toh uska zaiqa bahot minimal hota hai. Mujhe aisa mehsoos hota hai jaise main aam se bewafai karrahi hoon, isiliye main ghar pe aisa kuch banane hi nahi deti. Aam ko toh bus aam ki tarah hi khaana chahiye. Kuch log toh aise bhi hotey hain, jo aamras mein doodh milatey hain, bhala iski kya zaroorat hai. Kesari, sanderi jaise raseeley aam ka sirf ras hi kaafi hai, ismein doodh milaney ki kya tukk banti hai! Samjh nahi aati inlogou ki mantakh. 
Mantakh se yaad aaya un makhlooq ka jo aam khaatey hi nahi, aur aam ke naam par hi ajeeeb si shakal banaletey hain. Aise logoun ke liye main aksar aapka, “Gadhey hi aam nahi khaatey” wala khissa dhorati hoon.

0

Night of the Scorpion*

Once, I found a pretty piece of glass, and to say that I was fond of it will be quite an understatement. It had smooth edges, so smooth that I wouldn’t tire running my hands along them. It was always tucked carefully in my bag, but one day it fell and shattered to pieces. 

Pieces, like those of a jigsaw puzzle; I glued them together. But the edges weren’t familiar, they weren’t soft and smooth like I loved them. I tested them against my palm, that didn’t help but it surely left cuts on my right palm. They were ragged. I tried rubbing them against the wall, it chipped the paint off. Then, I wondered if my table could ease them out, but it left numerous nicks on the polished surface of the tabletop. 

Then, I realized, with our little minds and big hearts, we try hard to mend things and we go out of our way to cushion the broken pieces, to rectify our and their mistakes, to restore and undo the damage, but what we don’t see is; in the process of amendment, we hurt ourselves again and again. We bruise our hearts, some things are better left un-mended and broken. If we didn’t have broken pieces, we wouldn’t learn; sometimes, it is better to leave the shards of a glass to be just that. Tuck them away in a safe corner. And just let everything be. Let go and let be. 

*I know this has nothing to do with Nissim Ezekiel poem, I used the title coz I wanted to name this Night of Realization but Night Of the Scorpion was all I could hear in my head. Realization bit me like Scorpion bit Nissim’s mother. 

4

Just Be.

This year, I’d like to remind myself to Just Be,
No matter the situation  I am in,
Or the people I am with,
When the time needs, I shall Just Be
Unabashedly myself, Just Be.
When the times get tough,
And the circumstances tougher,
I won’t put a mask of the toughest
But let the tides take me down for a while,
Rest there, take my time and Just Be.
When the whirlwind of emotions takes over me
I shall embrace them all, befriend them
accept them as a part of me and Just Be.
This year, I will fight one breath at a time,
I will grow, one step at a time,
and live life, one day at a time.
And I will remind myself each moment
Not to lose but hold and help myself
and Just Be, as raw as I can be, I shall Just Be.

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This is too late for “New Year Resolutions” and I am not really a resolution kind of person but this time I have few small milestones to cross, I shall try my best to hop over them gracefully, God willingly. 🙂

P.S: I know this is too raw but hey I just told myself I will be raw 😉

13

Nu yeer, nu post, hu dis?

Well well hello {from the other side (it’s okay  there’s no need to roll your eyes..joke hai relax!)} everyone! If you were thinking we forgot you and our blog, then we didn’t. We didn’t. I promise you WE DIDN’T!
I know we keep getting MIA but that’s just our life. We don’t do it intentionally. I don’t even have an excuse this time, because I know and realize I (we) should  be blogging  more often but that just doesn’t happen. I try hard. I keep racking my head for ideas and keep mentally writing posts but when the time comes to execute those ideas, type them out on lappy, my brain tells me ” Nu brain, who dis?” Ab aap hi bataein karein toh kya karein?

So much has happened since the last post, so be prepared for a long long long post.

*offers you a virtual cup of coffee*

First things first, got done with the worst semester of my life. I don’t even know how I appeared for those exams, it took some supernatural force to write them. Blegh. But Alhamdulilah it’s done and now it’s been 17 days that I’m back in my Haven, Riyadh, enjoying the bone rattling winters.
My past few winters were in Hyderabad, where the last temperature drop is usually about 15 degrees celsius, so I was really looking forward to this trip of mine and mahn was my dua to experience winter was fulfilled. Alhamdulilah. It’s comparatively warm this weekend at 13-15 degrees. Okay I need to stop before I sound like “Namaskaar mausam ka tazaa haal lekar main hoon aapke saath Miss Maqsood….”

During my flight to Riyadh, I realized why I don’t like traveling alone because I don’t have my HUMAN PILLOW(s) with me then. No I don’t sleep most of the time on flight but to be comfortable I need one. Also when you travel alone you are obviously seated next to strangers, hello anxiety! It sure does make you feel like a strong independent lady but I’d prefer not to be next to strangers. Nope. Sorry. *shakes head*  *gloriously crawls back into her cocoon*
So I’m in Riyadh, enjoying winters, loving being the centre of attention of my parents (huaha!) and hanging out with my crazies (kinda reliving my school days). Alhamdulilah.

This made me realize two things. Firstly, this is the first time I’m alone with my parents, none of my brothers are here. So I  am getting their undivided attention and whenever they want anything, I’m expected to do it and I cannot be lazy and pass it on to my younger brother like I always do. (There’s one Hyderabadi saying for this situation that is something like ” Kuttey ku boley toh kutta uski dumm ku bola”. Self explanatory. )
And whenever I do something without being asked to, it fills them with joy and the Dua’s that follow are priceless. It’s not that they are incapable of doing stuff by themselves but they have reached that age, when they are supposed to be looked and cared after. They have done enough. And we have grown old enough to do our chores and house chores, so let’s not be lazy pseudo-teens.
Khair, let’s not get into sentimental stuff. Second thing I realized in the past few days is no matter where you go, what you do, there will always be that close knit of people who will have your back, your family and friends. Kuch bhi hojao they will be there. Through the ups and the downs, highs and lows. And if you have those people around you be thankful to the Lord coz it is a Niyamah (blessing), believe me it is. I cannot emphasize enough on how their presence can make your life easy and smooth. Even if they cannot help you out, they will stick by you. They will listen to you, they will let you cry. But they will be there. Beside you. Behind you. Also please be careful before including someone in that circle. Coz not everyone you meet are going to stay.
Kuch heavy hogaya nahi? Moving on.

December 27th was Mirza Asadullah Khan Ghalib’s birth anniversary. That day, my parents and I started watching Mirza Ghalib the serial (was aired on DD national in 1988), starring Naseeruddin Shah as Ghalib. We watched first five episodes in a go before we realized it was 12 am. Then we decided to resume on weekend. But that weekend never came.
So I decided to take matters in my hand  and watch it all alone by myself coz my parents were busy adulting. I have finished 11 of 16 episodes. And boy am I loving it! I was always fascinated by Ghalib because of his wit, he made me laugh in awe.
This serial cleared some serious misconceptions that I had regarding him. Anyone who’s interested to know more about him, should really watch it, it’s on Youtube. I’m not sure if everything that’s portrayed in that drama is to the T but most of it is from his letters, Khutoot-e-Ghalib. 🙂

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Now that we are talking about Ghalib, there’s this post by Sulphurman that you should really reallly read if you are Ghalib-crazy.

*Are you still there? If yes, Thank you. Offers you another cup of coffee*

Guys! 2015 is over! Last year went in a jiffy, I was telling one of my friends it went by like how our 11th grade did, our life was in induced semi comatose phase. Stagnant yet moving at light’s speed. Only the year end result shook us up. And in the same way, as smooth n bland the starting three quarters of 2015 were the last quarter was quite turbulent. Nothing serious Alhamdulilah but you understand right? 🙂
Life had it’s fair share of everything but 2015 didn’t really  have anything in particular that I would love to look back at.
Tread on some paths I thought I would never walk on. Missed some opportunities coz I was being lazy. Bairhaal!

Let’s hope and pray (ijtemai duaa anyone?) this year, we grow to be someone we’d like to be.
Let’s give and not hold back but please hold back your over, microscopic criticism to yourselves. If you disapprove of something, or disagree over something, state your point and back off. Do NOT force your opinions.
**Also don’t be a cynic please. I can handle your over the rainbow optimism, your deep dark pessimism also I accept you with your lens of realism, but cynicism, no chance. I don’t really have a place for them n their sh*t in my life. No thank you! If you cannot say anything good, kindly shut up, Yes disagree but don’t be a cynic.Please. **
Sorry was carried away, back to the ijtemai duaa.
Let’s chase our dreams. 
Let’s rekindle our faith in ourselves and our capabilities.
Let’s read read and read more, and write write and write some more.
Let’s fill our hearts with love till it’s filled to the brim.
Let’s laugh till our stomachs ache and cry till our hearts heal.
Let’s live each day, make the day count and not forget to be thankful for every new day. Insha’Allah!
I’d like to end the post, like my friend would have,
“Aaj ,aaj ek hasi aur baant lo, aaj ek dua aur maang lo, aaj ek ansoon aur pee lo, aaj ek zindagi aur jee lo, aaj ek sapna aur dekh lo, aaj … kya pata, kal ho naa ho”
*Srk’s signature pose* 😛
Hope you liked my randomness and coffee. 🙂

P.S : I know two of you had tagged me in posts and I’d kinda promised you guys I would do it but I didn’t. I apologize 😦

16

Random khayalaat

مان اور انا 

ہے تو الگ 

پر کبھی کبھی 

ایک سےلگتے ہیں۔

کہتے ہیں جو زنجیر

ہمیں جکڑی 

کسی کو مان

 بخشنے سے روکتی ہے 

وہ انا ہے۔ 

پھر کبھی لگتا ہے 

شاید وہ مان

وہ بھروسہ وہ امید 

جو ہم دوسروں سے 

لگاۓ رکھتے ہیں

اور انکی پہل 

کا انتیظار کرتے ہیں 

دراصل وہ مان، 

مان نہیں ہماری انا ھے

جو ہمیں پہل 

سے روکے رکھتی ہے۔

وقت گزرتا ہے،

زنجیر مضبوط سے مضبوط تر، 

 اور انتیظار طویل تر۔

کوئی جھکتا نہیں 

کوئی روکتا نہیں۔

ہے تو الگ پر  

کبھی کبھی 

ایک دوسرے کا روپ 

دھار لیتے ہیں۔

مان ہو یا انا 

ہے الگ الگ پر

ہوتے ساتھ ساتھ ہیں 

مان ہو یا انا 

جب ایک ٹوٹتا ہے 

تو قائم دوسرا بھی 

نہيں رہتا۔

مان ہو یا انا 

رشتوں کو سنوارتے بھی ہیں

بگاڈتے بھی ہیں۔

مان ہو یا انا 

کوئی عرش پر بٹھاتا ہے 

تو کوئی فرش پر پٹختا ہے۔ 

مان اور انا 

ہے تو الگ 

پر کبھی کبھی ایک سے 

 یہ لگتے ہیں۔ 

Maan aur Anaa

Hai toh alag

Par kabhi kabhi

Ek se lagte hain. 

Kehte hain jo zanjeer

Humein jakdi 

Kisi ko maan bakhashne se rokti hai

Wo anaa hai 

Phir kabhi lagta hai 

Shayad woh maan,

Woh bharosa, woh umeed

Jo hum dusroun se lagaye rakhte hain

Aur unki pehel 

Ka Intezar karte hain 

Darasal woh maan,

Maan nahin humari anaa hai

Jo humein pehel

Se rokey rakhti hai. 

Waqt guzarta hai,

Zanjeer mazboot se mazboot tar,

Aur intezar taweel tar,

Koi jhukta nahi

Koi rokta nahi. 

Maan aur anaa

Hai toh alag alag 

Par kabhi kabhi

Ek doosrey ka roop

Dhaar letey hain. 

Maan ho ya anaa

Hai alag alag par

Hotey saath saath hain.

Maan ho ya anaa

Jab ek toothta hai 

Toh qaim doosra bhi 

Nahin rehta.

Maan ho ya anaa

Rishtoun ko sanwartey bhi hain

Bigadtey bhi hain. 

Maan ho ya anaa

Koi arsh par bithata hai

Toh koi farsh par patakhta hai.

Maan ho ya anaa

Hai toh alag 

Par kabhi kabhi ek se

Yeh lagte hain. 

This is one of those raw pieces that are jotted down in your phone as your train of thoughts move. I was going through my notes and found this, so thought of posting it here cz it’s been too long since our blog breathed fresh air. So yeah. 

Hope you all are doing good inshaAllah . Take care 🙂 

P.S: I know our blog spells gloom right now but inshaAllah inshaAllah it will be back to its Nawabiself soon. Hold on till then, pretty please? 🙂