The greatest level of emotional intimacy has got to be vulnerability. If sex is the highest level of physical intimacy, then vulnerability is the equivalent emotional nakedness.
Our generation prides itself on its ability to not dive deep into relationships, to keep things simple, to stay detached and unemotional, because thats the new cool.
Thats exactly where i would like to move away from the crowd, because when it comes to this, i’d rather be old school. I cant do detached and flings and cold emotions and half assed relationships. I wear my heart on my sleeve and cant lie about who i am. I’d rather cut off than pretend to be someone im not.but that also means i cant hide parts of myself away.
Vulnerabilities are so extremely personal. I think thats the last part of yourself that you open up to someone. When they’ve proven themself worthy of your trust, when you’ve found a certain comfort level with them and after a significant amount of time has been invested into your relationship, do people usually think about delving into their vulnerabilities. And that probably is the smart thing to do. Because opening up your vulnerabilities, is basically baring your soul. Opening up about your insecurities, mistakes, anxieties, fears. In a world thats so quick to judge things and people, these kind of things are a big risk to take. Once you tell them, about what scares you, what your deepest fear is, what you still cant forgive and forget, what truly does make you insecure, what your biggest regrets are, the moments that follow are the ones that can really intimidate you because they will determine that persons place in your life and where your relationship will go now.
They can mock you, they can be horrified, then can belittle you, they can judge you, they can get scared and back off, they can throw it in your face later, they can use it against you.
OR they can embrace you, accept you, understand you, comfort you and take your trust in them to a place of security and loyalty.
Noone really ever knows how anyone will react. This could go both ways. And it is for this reason that opening up this part of oneself is what people reserve for a selected few, if any at all. Why would you hand your weakness to someone else ? Why would you give someone the power to break you? Why would you let them hurt you where it hurts the most?
But why is it that vulnerability is synonymous with weakness? Why is it the last step of opening up to someone?
Sharing your vulnerability shouldnt be weakness. Im not sure if it can be strength, but i dont want to think of it as weakness. It requires great courage to bare your soul. Especially when the whole world is trying to tell you things about being self sufficient and to not worry too much about the emotional spectrum. In handing someone your weakness, you become stronger knowing where the next blow could come from. In giving them the power to break you, you prepare yourself to be shattered. In letting them possibly hurt you where it hurts most, you actually build an immunity for the pain.
It shouldnt be the last step in opening up to someone. It should be the first. Afterall, if this determines whether or not they are capable of sharing a relationship with you, then why wait till you’ve grown attached to them and have started to trust them and see them as an integral part of your life? If this is the litmus test, lets get it done with right in the beginning. So we know who to hold onto and who to let go. Why waste all that time building up a relationship and investing time into it, only to find out they never deserved it in the first place?
This time, i’ll start from the end. This time, i’ll bare my soul to you before i let you in my heart. This time, will you be good enough to last?