Superficial delusional world of Indian Ads

These days, I spend most of my day indoors thanks to HADD SE ZYADA garmi.  So my masroofiyath these days include watching IPL (WHAT AM I GOING TO DO AFTER 24th MAY?!?!!) and reading.
Khair Tv se yaad aaya what is wrong with the Indian advertisements? Where is the talent? Why so shitty ads? Why oh Why?!! (Get the reference anyone? 😉 Hint: V and Shradhha Kapoor )
Fair & Lovely Ads– Thank you people for the self esteem booster. *wipes away happy tears* What we, saanwli dusky girls, would do without you guys? We’d be probably crying in some corner of the world cz  gorapan is sab kuch. In my jiggar’s words “ If you ain’t gori, you ain’t going anywhere”.
This cream transforms  dusky ladies from akhal se paidal to the most talented, noticed/loved and wanted aurat in the country? Hmmkay. This cream gives you the guts to talk to your dad about future plans. He wants you to get married but you don’t and you have no himmat of refusing, so  the F&L woman gives you a piece of mind, one application and you get himmat. Wow such instant results, cream na hua badhazmi ki dawa hogayi

So you’re trying to say ke external use nikharofies your brain? WOW such logic. Much trash. Thanks but no thanks F&L.

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PC: Buzzfeed

If ladies weren’t enough there’s also“Fair & Handsome” to lure men. What even.  What about “Tall DARK and handsome” ?

Oh a side note query, the “dark”  mentioned above is it in literal or figurative sense?

IIN– *Bangs head against the wall* No words to mention the absurdity, stupidity and the illogical nature of these ads. This the perfect example of “Kuch bhi, matlab kuch bhi?”

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Matlab bus idea ka internet data package lelo and tadaaa you become lawyer, doctor, chef and engineer. Thank you Idea for illogically setting a bait for our already padhai ke dushman generation. Also, some guy is studying biology and economics because “My Choice” and apparently why should we study what everyone asks us to and why not what interests us. This takes “karo apne dil ki” to another level. He’s probably interested in trading business of organs.

Aur itelaan arz hai, khaali package leliye toh knowledge milgayi what about Google and Wikipedia. Smh. Credits, people, are supposed to be given where due betey. Basic ettiqutes.

Kajaria Tiles– People, people, FYI, no matter how pretty and lovely ghar ke tiles are no one, NO ONE, rolls on the floor in appreciation. Forget about bathroom ke tiles *EWWW* Thank you so much, we might go “Jo dekhe wo deewana” but there’s something called hygiene.

dutty face

Mountain Dew– “Darr ke aage jeet hai” was a winning concept lekin ab na too much hora dekho. Ab toh it’s nothing more than bekaar ki dedh hoshiyaari. There’s a deadly sand tornado coming but you take a sip and go in coz “Darr ke aage jeet hai”, I’m so impelled to use one hyderabadi word but tameez. *zip locks*.Khair, That is not danishmandana step people that is haulapana.

Pan Masala –These are so sad and bad that they’re hilarious. Thoda pan masala in your alimentary canal and booom you become the mehfil ki jaan, the hero, every woman’s man.That is not called being confident, I have a better ten lettered word to explain them “DELUSIONAL”. Yes, that’s the word.

Glamour Bike– When you think ads can’t get worse, they will get worst, there’s no coming back. Nope. This is a new one, saw this parsun only. So some guy  comes in riding a bike and every woman  in the vicinty goes mad after him. A bride ready to take her vows leaves her husband coz “Ek jhatkey mein status mera single hogaya”. Yes that’s the jingle. Matlab bike rahe toh fida? Aise ads banaou and then cry women are getting materialistic day by day. Hey wakey wakey YOU ARE MAKING THEM MATERIALISTIC!

Santoor– Only one thing I’d like to say get a new concept please. “Mummyyyyy” wala is sooo old that I won’t be surprised  if one of the kids from their old ads is the new Mummy.

Dairy Milk Silk– Yes chocolates are LOVE but no one eats like that in public yaaaro. Wo bhi India ki Traffic jam mein, like really? Have you ever been stuck in those shaitaan ki aanth(never ending) like jams?  It’s a miracle to get out of those jams with normal blood pressure. Reality people reality please.

Gaana.com– This should come with a warning: Jingle of the following ad could result in fatal injuries or worse can instigate murder. No kidding. Suno aur khud jaanjao.

And don’t even get me started on teleshopping walay ads, no matter what the problem is it always starts with “Mein pehle bahot pareshaan tha, dukhi tha phir meri zindagi mein falaan falaan agaya aur ab main bahot khush hoon, har waqt hansta rehta hoon aur ladkiyaan bhi mujhse baat karti hain aur kuch hi dinoun mein meri shaadi horahi hai” I’m not exaggerating yeh walay ads always revolve around these lines only. These lines were in some ad.

*Heavy Sigh*

On a more happier and merrier note, Khanum of the Oh-So-Awesome Khanumsays nominated us for an award. Haaye! *happy sigh*
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Thank You sooooo much for appreciation, award and love *wipes away khushi ke aansu* ! We don’t know how awards work so we are going to kaam chalao with thank you, Khanumsays. 😀 *Pappis and Jhappis your way*

That’s all I have got for now. Miltey hain ek *choteyyy* se break baad *Ting ting tiding*

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26 thoughts on “Superficial delusional world of Indian Ads

      • I stayed up to read all your posts, especially because it was such a lovely peek into the essence of being Hyderabadi – if that makes any sense at all. I have never visited the city (always wanted to), but one of my favorite things about blog readings is being able to access life in different places through writings such as yours. I am going to be tracking Numaish and see if I am can make it this year. Please also do write some more about your life in KSA. Would love to read about that too. Unlike UK, USA, the Indian diasporic voice on blogs is not visible enough and I am left wanting to know more about the lives that they lead in the Middle East.

      • Awww Thank You so much GM and we’re sorry our hilarity *wink* (rather our rants and musings) robbed you of your night sleep 😛
        You should really come to Hyderabad, if nothing else our food and Charminar will make your trip worthwhile 😀
        And as far as Numaish is concerned you must not miss, iskey baarey mein I can give you *warna paise wapas* wali guarantee. 😛
        Yes, that’s one of the best things about blogosphere, we get to read about different places and cultures and lifestyles 😀
        Your comment (life in Riyadh) made us think about what you said and inshaAllah we will try not to disappoint you.
        Once Again thank you so much for getting on board, with our Nawabi Sawaari we will try to make your flight as fun and amusing as we can! 😀

      • You should consider being Hyderabad’s official emissary on behalf of the Indian tourism ministry. May your tribe increase 🙂

  1. You are absolutely hilarious! This is just too funny 😀

    “cream na hua badhazmi ki dawa hogayi” hahaha

    I don’t watch TV so I don’t know about these ads but phir bhi enjoyed your post.

    • Hahaha thank you Nadia Baji, lol what can I say fatuity on tv makes one hilarious 😛
      Aah! You’re blessed to be away from these mindless gags in the name of entertainment 😀

  2. Well despite of all what I read above, your ads are not worst than Pakistani ads, have you seen them??!! ~screams~ Have you??! For them it isn’t an ad if the whole family isn’t dancing somewhere on the roof, on the road, on the cars, in the park. All there is in these absolutely absurd ads is Dancing. And I’m using “Dancing” as a very broad term here . If you know what I mean 😛

    Anyways I hope you guys are doing great despite of the “Jaan nikalnay wali” garmi !
    Love,
    Zee ❤

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